Friday, May 2, 2014

My kid won't stop getting sick.

I couldn't figure out how to start this so I'll just jump right in.

Milo's blood work came back and he is deficient in igg and iga; two important immunoglobins that are responsible for keeping your body healthy, and keeping infections away.

Milo was getting sick almost every other week, and the illness was lasting for a good week, at least.  He'd have over-lapping symptoms which the doctor would diagnosis as "multiple viruses".  High fever one day, then that would go and a stomach symptoms would arise, then go, then bad cough would start, then go.  It was very frustrating.

Milo has been sick with approximately 10 different illnesses since January basically.  We've gone to 9 doctor visits, 1 ER visit and had at least 4 chest x-rays.  He's mostly been diagnosed with various viruses, but has also been diagnosed with pneumonia, a sinus infection and reactive airway disease (or something like that).  They talk about asthma - not the kind that makes you wheeze, but the kind that makes too much junk when you get even the smallest cold.  Oh, we've also seen an ENT and have a pulmonologist, and allergist/immunologist scheduled for later this month.

I'm not a mother that takes her kid's to the doctor often.  In fact, more than once I have looked negligent when I finally take my kid in and they've had strep for days without my knowledge.  I don't like antibiotics, and I encourage rest and healing at home whenever possible.  I've never had a kid before Milo that has reached 104+ fever even once, Milo does it nearly every time he's sick.  I've never had a kid with such a persistent wet cough, until Milo.  Every time I tried to talk to the doctor about this they would tell me, "it's the older siblings", or "it's just that season".  They told me "it's just the same cough...it lingers...".

Recently the doctor told me, "Hey, hey, hey...don't worryaboutit, kids his age get sick 6-7 times a year...."

I said, "Milo has been sick at least 6-7 times since JANUARY."

He said, "Well sometimes, it's all at once."

I said, "And you guys are telling me each time that he's getting multiple viruses on top of one another, so wouldn't that be like 12-14 times sick then?"

He said, "It happens."

I couldn't get them to take my gut instinct seriously.  I plainly said, "I have 4 kids, I know kids.  I know my kids.  I don't know what you know about the children you see, but I know my kids, and I know what's normal, and this is not normal."  The doctor smiled at me condescendingly and said, "Thanks for coming in, let us know if he gets worse."

I wanted to say HE IS WORSE.  THIS IS WHY I BROUGHT HIM IN.

Anyway, so I finally got so fed up at the lack of listening and lack of answers that I took him to a new pediatrician and that day (April 29), the new doctor listened to my concerns and based on my explanation, without any real documentation yet because nothing had transferred, she recommended blood work and follow-ups with specialists.  She is the first person to contemplate immune issues, which is what we've secretly worried about all along but his previous pediatrician never mentioned.

Milo got the blood work on the 29th, and we got the call back on the 30th.

First the message, "Jenni, this is Dr. Apley, we got the blood work and I want to talk to you about it so I'll call back shortly."

My stomach turned.

I called back and she started with, "Well the good news is..." and I waited the rest of the conversation to hear the other part of the statement, "...and the bad news is..."

I'm trying stay calm and remember that he's mostly a fat healthy baby that is just getting sick a lot.  He's not failing to thrive.  He's full of energy, eats and sleeps well.  There is nothing more traumatizing than considering even for a moment that there might something wrong with your child's body that you can't fix.

I'm trying to balance the stress of this and remember to worry about what I can control, but it's so difficult.  I have headaches, my blood pressure is high and my anxiety is worse than ever right now.  I'm waking up in the middle panicked with random crap, that doesn't even matter.  My mind just spins, spins, spins.

I think what is most stressful to me is there is no escape from it.  I can't take a couple days of work, or take a quick get-a-way, or have a spa weekend to get over it.  Milo will still be sitting there the whole time with something wrong with his blood and there is no way for me to get around it.  I just have to go through it.

Thank you Jesus that there's no tumors, or something life-threatening.  All my dr. google searches basically lend to "born with it", "something you have to know", "transfusions" and "preventative antibiotics".  There is a lot to do with "risk of major complications with routine illnesses" but we haven't faced that yet, and I'm sure that with every month he get's stronger.

So that's where I'm at.  I thought that writing this all out might be helpful, but really I'm finishing this up and have a headache and feel a tight knot in my stomach as big as my body.  I can't wait to see the specialist and just be able to look at what we're dealing with, and move forward. 

The unknown is what kills me.